Let there be white.

Things I like about winter:

• Sitting inside looking at snow outside.
• Buying Christmas presents for myself. (Not because I’m so selfish but because it’s waaay easier than  buying presents for others. I know exactly what I would like.)
• Daytime boozing becomes socially acceptable. Mulled wine. Punch. And have you heard of medovina? It’s a Czech liquor made of honey, served hot. Popular at Christmas markets. Sweet and warming, 16% strong.
• The thrill of not knowing if I will be able to fly home for Christmas. “Gatwick's runway is currently closed due to heavy snow, with no departing or arriving flights. The runway will remain closed until 15:00 today (Saturday 18 December) at the earliest. We are expecting further significant snowfall for much of the day.” I think that’s a polite no.

Things I don’t like about winter:

• Butter turns hard, so I end up buying margarine instead, which tastes disgusting. But at least it spreads.
• People turn all soppy. Yesterday, I was walking down to Carphone Warehouse to enquire about long-delayed Christmas gifts (due to “adverse weather conditions”)  and this woman walking past me spread her arms out in joy and said, “It’s so magical! Walking in the snow!” She pronounced the word magical like a Disney character on speed. Magical? No, no, no … I was wishing for the cold, wet shit to stop hitting my face.
• Dark mornings. I have this fantasy of one day becoming that person who wakes up early and gets everything done while the world sleeps. Laundry. Dishes. Reading. Shopping. Pedicure. Ironing. Exercise. Cook packed lunch to take with me. Wrap Christmas presents in cutesy-cutesy paper with pretty ribbons and name tags. Instead I end up snoozing the alarm for two hours (sometimes three), eating breakfast for lunch, doing laundry when the only thing left in my underwear drawer are my bikinis, and sending Christmas cards out too late for them to reach anyone before the New Year. I have a few friends who manage this early-morning productivity and I always wonder how they summon all that energy, especially when it’s dark. It just seems so unnatural to get out of bed when it’s dark. I suspect it’s something to do with going to bed early and drinking copious amounts of South American coffee. But how horrible are those first three minutes of the morning when you have to get out of your warm bed, turn the kettle on and stand there freezing while you wait for it to boil.
• Cold feet. Cold back. Hot water bottles just don’t stay hot for long enough. I once told a guy I only liked sleeping with him because he was warm. I meant it as a compliment. He was mildly offended, which is a shame, because we could have shared my bed and heating bills happily ever after.